More memories of Ariel

I don’t know if it’s thinking about the anniversary of Ariel’s death or if it’s that a little bit of her spirit and energy came to me after my tattoo (only sort of joking with that) but I’ve been remembering lots of little things about Ariel that were buried in my mind.
Like the time we went to the outdoor mall in Mashpee and we ran around like wild animals (that wasn’t new but it was the first time I really remember it in public) and Ariel insisted that we go to the joke shop and get fake cigarettes that puffed out a cloud of chalk dust or something. She thought it would be the most hilarious thing ever to really shock people with a bunch of kids smoking. I can’t remember the outcome but I remember feeling delightfully sneaky and naughty.
I also remember sitting in the grass in a hidden part of New Alchemy and I was pissed off and angry at the world for some reason or another and Ariel teaching me what at the time was the dirtiest thing I had ever heard…it started off with “f*&k f*&k a duck…” I was thrilled but also terribly embarrassed but I took delight in teaching it to my friends. As you can see, I still feel a little odd about writing it out and it took me quite a few years to realize what “finger banging an orangutan” might mean.
I kissed my 1st boy with Ariel’s encouragement…can’t even remember his name now just how gross it was that someone would stick their tongue in my mouth.
I also remember her visiting me in Michigan not too long after I had my daughter Celeste. I had Celeste when I was 15 and although Celeste has been a complete blessing to my life, I really struggled with dealing with other people’s reactions in a small Michigan town. I don’t know remember had brought her to Michigan and I do remember that she seemed like she was struggling with a lot of demons. I do remember sitting outside in the dark with her as she told me not to listen to anyone, don’t ever let anyone give me shit because she knew I was a fantastic mom who would always understand her daughter no matter what. I am not sure my 12-year-old would always agree with that assessment but it certainly helped me a little bit.
Ariel also sent Celeste a hat and glove set after she had visited in the winter before she died. It was a purple hat and gloves that had Dora the Explorer on them and she sent me an amazing shirt with a self-portrait screened onto it. I liked the shirt but thought it was a bit weird at the time (I’ve never been an artistic or crafty person!) but it has meant the world to me since then.
Ariel was a wild girl and a fighter and I think those traits both protected her and hurt her but to me, it made her quite an idol to have when I was younger. I came to appreciate her more as a whole person as I got older, with all her idiosyncrasies, her anger, her delight, her issues and most importantly, her love for so many people.